For Queen, Country and John
by DreamsInBlackAndWhite
Summary: The muffled words are a coda to Ian's song of sadness. The sunshine after a storm. Alex looks so much like John. Alex will not leave him. It almost pains Ian when his thoughts progress. Today he will leave Alex". One-Shot.


**A wacky one-shot that just nagged at me until I finally agreed to give it form. Would not leave me alone, seriously. I even dreamt about it...**

**Spooky.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy. I hope to hear from you. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this work of FanFiction. They all belong to Anthony Horowitz.  
**

Ian Rider dived around the corner silently, springing from his rolling jump to his feet before padding down the hall and around a second corner, a grin gracing his normally stern, serious face. It wasn't often that he took the day off work. In fact, it was a very rare occurrence. But today was the anniversary of his brother's death and he wanted to spend some time with Alex. After the remembrance mass Alex had been particularly solemn and the game of 'Hide And Seek' had been as much to cheer Ian up as it had been to bring a smile to the younger Rider's face.

It had been a long week for Ian. Paperwork, a mission and then more paperwork had dictated Ian's time. His plan was originally to take Alex to the park but the torrential rain had quickly put an end to that. Ian had not been sleeping well all week and had been irritable and stern with Alex. He regretted his actions but the entire week John's face had haunted his every movement.

He listened closely to the sound of his nephew's giggles. The soft step of Alex's bare feet on the carpet were drawing closer. Ian grinned and slipped further down the passage, turning left quickly. He would have to give Alex the pleasure of finding him soon. It was already a quarter past three and Ian had a flight to catch at half past five.

Again the scuff of small feet on the carpet made Ian smile. The giggles trailing Alex's footsteps are enough to send Ian on a trip down memory lane. He fights the memory as hard as he can. He wants the comfort of the present not the pain of the past. He struggles but with a rush his mind overtakes and he finds himself seeing snatches of his brother, glimpses and flashes flying before his mind's eye.

_Ian is four again and John towers over him. They race and Ian tries so hard to keep up but John is fast, just like his daddy. His brother's broad shoulders carry him home from playschool as Ian's fingers tug absently at John's hair. The shadows on the path show only one elongated form. Ian wants to stay one with his big brother forever._

_Now Ian is five and he clings to John's temples like an odd sort of crown as John carries him to school on his shoulders. Ian tugs his brother's ear, his teardrops splashing on top of John's head. His brother comforts him and carries his school bag and Ian feels a small bit better._

_Ian is eight and John is so tall and strong. They run and play together but John has other friends. John races after his friends and Ian tries to keep up so badly. He wants to be there for every minute of fun. John comes back and scoops him up and Ian is so happy his heart feels like it might burst._

_Ian is ten and John sets him down on the path, school bag on his back. Ian is unsure of his footsteps. He lags behind as John walks ahead with his friends, laughing, his younger brother an annoying pin prick at his conscience occasionally. Two separate shadow boys walk to school._

_John is with Mary again. They run across the fields together and lie down under the trees. Ian wants to follow. He wants to show John how grown up he is. He won't even make faces at Mary, if only he can come and play with them. He tries to run and catch up but all he catches is John's figure, pulling Mary along by the hand. Ian is so alone his heart sings a sad song to him._

_John is leaving now, moving to the city. Mary is just another girl. Ian is glad John is leaving her behind but he wants to be with his brother. It's not too late. They can be one shadow again, if only John will give Ian a chance to show how responsible and mature he is. Ian watches as John drives away and wishes more than anything for John to scoop him up so his heart can be painfully happy again._

_Ian is a soldier now. So very tall and handsome in his uniform. He even wins a medal for being the best recruit. He talks with John every night on the phone or face to face. He prefers face to face. Ian wants to just sit and talk with his brother but John is always busy with his job. Ian wants to be part of his life so he decides to join MI6. This way he will feel as though he and John aren't worlds apart. His office is two floors below John's and now they are galaxies apart._

"I found you!" Alex's triumphant shriek echoed around Ian's brain. He fired his little toy gun and a rubber arrow hit Ian in the chest before dropping to the carpet with a hush of silence. Ian felt his eyes well up with tears as his nephew rushed over, embracing him in a hug.

Ian lifted the small boy up, melting his arms to accomodate for his size. Alex burrowed his head in his uncle's chest, the plastic gun dropping to the floor. When he looked up a stab of concern flashed across his wide, brown staring eyes upon noticing the single tear in his uncle's gaze.

"Did I hurt you Ian?" Alex asked, touching his uncle's chin worriedly. His face was painted with a touching love that Ian had seen in his own eyes as a boy.

"No, of course not" Ian replied, smiling shakily at his nephew.

Alex buried his head in his uncle's chest again, smiling to himself.

"I love you Ian".

The muffled words are a coda to Ian's song of sadness. The sunshine after a storm. Alex looks so much like John. Alex will not leave him. It almost pains Ian when his thoughts progress. He is the abandoner. Today he will leave Alex for a mission. For Queen and country.

For queen, country and John.

* * *

**Finished/Críochnaithe.**

**Hope to hear from you soon.**

**-DIBAW**


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